Dear Susan,
I'm 18 and unfortunately seeing a married man. I think I love him and he says he loves me too. I've tried to end it many times with no joy. We work together so I see him five days a week, which only makes matters worse. I'm going to university in September and don't need the stress. I know what I should do but it's very difficult. My heart is telling me one thing and my head is telling me another. Please help me.
Twinkle

answer

Dear Twinkle,
As you say, you know what you should do. The relationship you are having with this man is fun, intense, passionate, loving...and ultimately doomed. From what you say, he may love you, but he's not going to commit himself to you. And you love him, but you know that there's no future in it.

Hard though it is, you're going to have to call it day. Now, it's up to you whether you do this the hard way and put the dampers down now, or whether you hang on until September and let your departure for university do the business. All I can say is that when you get to university, your life will be really tough for the first few months -because you won't only be coping with separation from your man, you'll also be adapting to a new life with new people and new responsibilities.

But actually, it'll work out well, because being away from him will, slowly but surely, let you forget him. I know it's tough. I know it's brutal. But you're going to have to do it. So grit your teeth. This time next year, it will be easier, I promise.

ivillage uk

The end of the affair